It’s official: Republican politicians have now written more books than they have...– @BorowitzReport (via brooklynmutt)
I wish I had blonde Chinese hair and skin like a hot-dog.
hanrich replied to your post: why amc why Oh don’t be such a sorehead over it :P
why amc why
Trying to watch Kill Bill Volume II and they’ve edited it. Bill says to Kiddo, “You’re not a bad person, you’re a terrific person; my favorite person. But every once in a while, you can be a real SOREHEAD.” Sorehead, really? Who the fuck says sorehead?
Every time I finish watching something on my DVR
Fuckin’ Oprah is on. Is her show on like 24/7 or what the fuck is going on here?
crabby-cakes: kelsium: Non-hurricane related, is bagging your own groceries really a thing at Trader Joe’s? The ones here have the bags behind the counter. How am I supposed to bag my own if I can’t reach the bags? I DON’T WANT TO BE DOING THIS WRONG? Ok, growing up in NY, I did not have a TJs, (there are a few now,) but I DID have grocery stores, and you bagged your own groceries every...
Dee: I'm not fat, I'm pregnant.
Mac: I feel like you say that all the time now.
Frank: You'd better do yourself a favor and flush it out!
Gee I sure hope FEMA is able to evacuate all those old rich white folks from the Hamptons.
The fact that the majority of Black America says...
man I listened to some bullshit when I was in high...
I think I need to build a little birdhouse in my...
I need some more good '80s movie montage music
I can’t remember the names of all the songs! Help me, please?
brrm brrm brrm , brrm brrm brrm, brrm BRRM brrm…
on second thought
that song may make people think I will raise from the dead as a flesh eating zombie, since the chorus says: You’re the best around! Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down! Maybe “Highway to the Danger Zone” from Top Gun?
At my funeral
I want them to play shitty ’80s movie montage music for the whole thing. Something like “you’re the best around” or “eye of the tiger” or whatnot. I think that would be best.
Ok AT&T wtf is going on
One second, it says “No Service”. Then, it says “Searching”, and soon after that I got like 4 fucking bars. How is that possible? I’m not moving, I’m sitting here at my computer desk.
How to Suppress the Gag Reflex →
6. Beware the gag reflex in the morning. Some people report that they’re more likely to gag earlier in the day. Try to schedule the gag-inducing activity for the late afternoon or evening instead. Sound advice!
Well, how strong is your gag reflex?– Strange questions I ask people
goodreasonnews: smash-ball: If you’re an atheist and say ‘oh my god’ I am judging you. If you’re a virgin and say ‘oh fuck’ I am judging you. ——- If you’re constipated and say ‘oh shit’ I am judging you. ——- If you’re blind and say “i see what you mean” I’m judging you. ——- If you’re not an astronaut and say ‘oh my stars!’ I’m judging you. —— Try as I might, I’m having trouble...
I’m the Wayne Gretsky of sexual stuff I’m the Hulk Hogan of...
next time I hit the club
I’m gonna dance like Jon LaJoie (that dude in the “show me your genitals” video).