I award you no points

How to Call the Police, Even If You Are Joe Paterno, Vol. 1:

inothernews:

• Go to a telephone.
• Pick up the handset.
• Dial “9-1-1.”
• When the dispatcher answers, say “Hello.  I am legendary Penn State football coach Joe Paterno.  I am calling to report very graphic details of the rape of a minor that occurred here on the Penn State campus.  I know to do this because I have brains, and a heart.  And a conscience too.”
• Give the police your phone number and let the dispatcher know when they might be able to send some detectives over to take a statement.
• Say thank you to the dispatcher.
• Hang up the phone.
• Go back to whatever the fuck it is college football coaches do when they aren’t worrying whether or not a member of their coaching staff isn’t raping children.

Reblogged this earlier but the fucking iPhone app reblogged it as a link. Who the fuck does that anyway? Why is that the default?

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    If you see someone raping someone or if you hear about someone raping someone, you damn well stop

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