I award you no points

socialistictendencies:

beeaaarrrr:

The article  where this is from: (I’ve taken the liberty of crossing out what was wrong and why this is a giant trololol) 

What is Skyrim?
If you are a responsible parent, then the world of MMORPG first person shooters should be something of a foreign language to you. In games like Skyrim, players are teleported to far away lands that are cream filled with demonic spell crafting, violent shirtless blood shed and exposed not only Satanic critters, but bombarded with gay under tones of fecal fornication.

In the land of Skyrim, the player starts off as a captured terrorist, who has been caught plotting to destroy the golden empire by using dragons. Before the player gets to take control of his avatar, they are asked to create a character, which is purely the liberal’s way of teaching out kids that modifying and gender changing one’s self is fun and normal. Once the player has decided if they want to be a female wood fairy or an black ogre from Stormwind, they get to take control of their hell spawned fictitious demon.

Right off the bat, the gay supporting software company Blizzard, shows the player images of decapitations and after the third of forth head chopping, a necromatic dragon appears and sets the player free from righteous punishment. Now that the player is free, they will spend the next 400 hours robbing people, killing villagers, crafting sexual items, fornicate with elves and other Harry Potter style animals and also learn how to conjure up black magic.

Throughout the game, the player is exposed to full frontal violence and replay style death killing finish moves. The graphics of this game are way too realistic for the type of blood shed they ejaculate all over the player’s CPU monitor.

The spells the player are taught are directly out of The Book of Wiccan and are far more dangerous than anything your child is watching on that Wizards at Waverly Place and Sabrina The Teenage Witch. When a player casts a spell, you will see the hand gesture is that of how homosexuals fling devil DNA juices at each other after a long night of fecal frenzy ass assassinations. This is subliminally teaching your children that they need to go in their rooms, demon whack their sin staff and produce sin milk into their hands and than fling it in the face of the first person they come in contact with after their taint tugging session.

Once they player has finish killing all the people in Skyrim, his final battle is to have a mass dragon orgy with his fellow homosexual warriors he meets on his way and all take turns impregnating the dragon with homosexual dragon eggs. Once the dragon has been backdoor feasted, the player must kill it. The dragon needs to be killed, so the spirit of death and gayness can enter the new eggs and reek havoc onto the rest of the world. This new destruction will be playable in the next Skyrim saga.

SKYRIM LINGO: DOVAHKIIN – Is the supposed citizens of Skyrim, but is a code word that means:
D – Dirty
O – Orifice
V – Violation
A – Always
H – Hurts
K – Keep
I – Injecting
I – It
N – Naiant

This is only 1/3rd of the bullshit article. 
What we learned today: check the sources of your reblogs and dont believe everything you read!   

guys.

christwire.

christwire.

Lololol idiots

1. binchan liked this
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3. oh-melusine reblogged this from lokiswag and added:

   lol I found this article awhile ago. so funny

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    sdlvqibvliqwebvlwbvwlebv

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30. davelaughingalonewithjohnsass reblogged this from fuckyeahskyrimthings and added:

    It’s true though! I am 100% more inclined to have gay sex now that I spend all my free time on Skyrim!

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35. yourexqualified reblogged this from worldsbiggestsickcunt and added:

    what? what’s gay about it?

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44. paoliplz reblogged this from worldsbiggestsickcunt and added:

    With statistics like these, I think everyone should play Skyrim.

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50. rickythrills reblogged this from worldsbiggestsickcunt and added:

    It’s like they fucking know me.

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